Farisology

Like a dream

Aside | Posted on June 3, 2015 by Farisology

It started like a dream and I spent the night convincing myself that you have to go back. It was short time but it brings me all of you and all the hardships of being far away. I don’t mind drinking more and more of coffee if that will keep me awake. Its not the coffee that I will always hold to but you. The little times you are with me are all that matters. I start again feeling the space of emptiness in my heart craving for you. If you could only stay one more day, one more week, one more month but I cannot get enough.

You are the only woman in my world and you will always be the only one. My heart isn’t just hard for other girls but forbidden from all of them. You mean to me the love and I only know you, only want you.

I feel you even when the miles making it far. Every time I look at our pictures my heart will scream the pain distance gave me. Dear, it’s hard to get back when memories flash on my head every now and then.

Yours
Me.

The valentine

Posted on February 15, 2015 by Farisology

I am sure that we dated on that day coincidentally few times. But, we remembered that its valentine by the end of the date. This sounds very romantic and I bet it does. What we have is the resonant souls that takes us more beyond the conventions of relationships and patterns of expectations exist in this world. Now we are categorized as in a relationship by distance, and that isn’t something we wanted. Today I recall many things including decisions. Honestly, I don’t know but I did my best to make sure that I didn’t do something I could regret later.

I am not sure, and wasn’t sure but after I did my best what can I hope more other than praying for the best. I don’t care if its valentine or not but its clear that its hard to see you. I resist this distance and it makes me appreciate every single minute I spend with you. Yet, there are times where distance drive my heart exhausted and make me desperate. I hide this but there are times where I cannot hide it.

I felt shy to cry till I lost my ability to cry and now I can cry while asleep cause I don’t realize that I’m doing it. My heart scream in the nights like a wolf lost the way to of the jungle. Wolf isn’t a wild animal, wolf is our desperate emotions when it left no way to go up. I believe in many things that doesn’t exist because they are less scarier than what exist.

I cannot see dreams in the night because they aren’t with me. Every time I wish a good night for you, I wish you pick me up in one of your dreams. Mine when they come, they are creepy and lonely not much different from my reality except for the sound effect in the dream. No one wanna check such creepy dreams at morning but I do, cause I don’t want to miss the one you showed up to me in.

When I meet you, part of my soul return to me and I can see by a full soul. Dear when I meet you I forget many things in this world except the moon and the big stars, Because you are one of them. There are 99 reasons for me to read the love poems of Rumi, 100 of them are because you means to me all of them.

The birthdays

Posted on July 14, 2014 by Farisology

There is no such convention in for us to celebrate our birthdays formally. Despite the reasons for each of us but we both adore the simplicity of having such memory apart from the noisy world. Some where in the corner enjoying special meal which is not a cake and for sure no candles !! It may sounds weird but its our birthday in our very own rules. July is the month we came to this world in a difference of a week between mine and hers. The last two years were very nice and our birthdays were just perfect.

Today, it is been 49days since the last time we met. I cannot say how hard thing are but we made our choices and accepted the challenges of more than 700KM distance and 3years time for that. I would say it is one of the biggest challenges I face in my life. I cannot feel hopeless or or weak for that because it was a decision. All the things we were doing together were memories flaming in the heart.

I don’t know how many times I come back from classes dreaming of you, or how many times I wished I can meet you in the library as usual. How many times I looked for nice novels to share with you,,, I want to read funny, lovely nice things for you. And enjoying your smiles and loughs blows my memory and heart. The daydreaming in the day and nights, the letters and intentions to call you in the middle of a class or during my break. In the day in the night or when you are sleeping and promise to meet me in the dreamland.

Dear, I cannot stop telling how much I miss you or how hard this could be. Because I want you to carry on, to have a leap of faith in god, you and me. If life meant to draw my first hardship for three years I am gonna prove I ain’t fail not in 3million years. Clear skies never make good pilots.

You are my inspiration to push hard and carry on taking the hardest program in one of the toughest universities in the country. In the time everybody warn me about it, I would remember that this is my history and there is yours lets make it a legend and knock of the challenges. After all we will have what says that we passed from the way no body did before.

In this time you are sleeping and I thought of writing because I might get busy for long before I get time for this. When you read it breath the strength your soul possesses.

All the love
the second soul,,